Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize