Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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