The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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