she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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