Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
