Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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