My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
it glows. i had to have it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
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I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
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My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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