mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
tell me about the eggs
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