He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
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Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
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Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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