Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
