i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
