if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
