My friends, they love my intelligence
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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