How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
