I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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