can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
