If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
