ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
