It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
