we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
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