i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
