READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize