That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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