My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Text me some of your sweat
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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