Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
