So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
