You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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