there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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