david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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