he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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