Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
