Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize