Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
