I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think weed is turning my hair brown
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I supernannyed him into submission
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
