Having a random hookup so left but love u
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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