you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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