giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
