My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
