it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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