PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
