I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
