I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You pole danced in your parka.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
