I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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