you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just want to make out with him forever
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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