sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
