Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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