I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
