he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
