this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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