1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
