No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
