can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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