I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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