It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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