I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
