That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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