have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize