im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
my poor anus
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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