Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
