i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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